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(via isthiswittyenoughforyou)
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I’m sorry.
It had to be done.Ok,You really did it now!
I HAD TO SCROLL BACK UP AND REBLOG OMG
Allow me to play you the song of my people.
where can i download this
oh dear
at first I was like okay this is that violin tune from spongebob
but then i noticed how long it was
and right when i started thinking ‘okay there’s got to be more to this, where is this going’
IT HIT
^Literally my face when it hit
THANK YOU FOR THIS
AT FIRST I SAID TO MYSELF “OH WELL I FOUND THE ORIGINAL, LONG VERSION”
SO I KEPT SCROLLING AND LISTENING TO IT
AND THEN IT HAPPENED
AND I
(via lacrimosa-phantom)
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Capricorn: wow you pissed me off so I'm going to sulk in silence and snap if spoken to
Aquarius: YOU MADE ME UPSET IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD /melts into a dramatic heap
Pisces: I'M GONNA FUCKING THROW THINGS. LIKE THE BIGGEST TANTRUM. YOU HAVE -EVER- SEEN.
Aries: WOW I'M SO MAD for like a second. What's for dinner?
Taurus: BRB SMASHING HEADLONG THROUGH A WALL TO KILL YOU
Gemini: Oh, I'm not mad. Wait. YES I FUCKING AM. Okay maybe not. BUT THEN AGAIN--
Cancer: ...oh. I'm angry. But you'll never know. Tillit'stoolate. Cookie?
Leo: /INDISCERNIBLE NOISES OF RAGE
Virgo: how could you do this to me. how. HOW??? Get out of my life. No wait baby come back...
Libra: Passively plotting your demise.
Scorpio: This'll only sting for a second. Unlike my wounds which'll bleed FOREVER and you'll never hear the end of it. WHIIIINE
Sagittarius: I have to leave before I kill someone. Bye!
^ truth
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(via lutieloo)
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how many “friend-zoned” guys does it take to change a light bulb? None they’ll just compliment it and get pissed when it won’t screw.
this is the best joke ever
(via mermaidpoop0)
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when im rich the first thing im doing is getting laser hair removal on every inch of my body that isn’t my head
you’ll look pretty funny without eyebrows
im at least 3% sure that my eyebrows r on my head
(via mermaidpoop0)
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my whole life is just “oh ok”
(via mermaidpoop0)
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me: [walking past music store]
me: [bREATHES HEAVILY]
mom: no
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(via mermaidpoop0)
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i think everyone has that one phrase that we all use ironically but then after a while it just becomes completely unironic like i used hot diggity once as a joke and now i say it all the time im telling you ironic phrases are like gateway drugs to being openly mocked
(via mermaidpoop0)
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dumb story because i think i’m funny
we were watching a movie in school and there was a scene where this guy was driving over lava and they kept showing close up shots of the tires catching on fire and i started laughing and my friend kept asking me what was so funny and when i finally composed myself i took a deep breathe and whispered
‘hot wheels’
(via mermaidpoop0)
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Wow.
The human body is fascinating
I keep telling people this shit in real life and they don’t believe me.
I’ve seen it from multiple sources, and this just adds another (albeit usually unreliable) source.
This is actually legit, guys. This is how your eyes move when you’re thinking about something. It’s actually a good way to tell if someone is lying or not, because they’ll look to their left (your right, durr) when they’re constructing false memories, and to their right when they’re actually remembering them.HOLY CRAP. SAVING THIS FOR FUTURE REF.
this is totally real..just learned some body language stuff for theatre class and this was included
(via brokendowndesires)
